If we took a holiday…

We did it! A whole week of sun, sand and (let’s face it) shit with a twelve month old. And what’s more, we actually enjoyed it- most of the time….
I had flown with O before at the start of the year when he was small enough to still happily curl up and sleep on my lap for an hour or two…
I’d tried to kid myself that would still be the case, but obviously what he actually wanted to do for the entire flight was the following, on repeat: eat banana, throw banana, bounce on my lap, try to pull the person in fronts hair (especially on the way home- naff holiday braids are a clear baby magnet..), bang on the tray table, poo (you’ve not changed a nappy til you’ve done it at 3,000 feet, Ryanair-style), eat banana….you get the picture. On the plus side there was relatively little actual screaming- bonus.
We were fortunate to have a week of glorious sunshine on the Mallorcan coast, which we spent relaxing* on the beach and day-tripping to nearby villages. Here are a few things I learnt/mused upon during our first ever family holiday abroad-
– Time from baby being unleashed on marble floors to first bump on the head: less than 10 minutes
– Trying to change a nappy as a small, sandy bottom rolls back and forth across your sun lounger- where do you even start?
–  Despite hating having the sun in his eyes my son refuses to keep a sunhat or sunglasses on. Go figure. Much better to have me act as a personal human sun shield, clearly.
– An empty water bottle and a beer mat can provide just enough baby entertainment for that sunset glass of Cava/G&T/Aperol spritz to be downed- just the one though mind, any longer requires food based bribes
– Apparently the shitty travel mattress has some special sleepy powers- could have done with knowing that a while ago, but appreciated nonetheless
– Sand tastes awesome. I mean, it must do. Why else would a child keep eating handfuls of the stuff?
– A bucket and spade provides some entertainment, but not enough to read ‘now’ magazine. Sigh.
– You might practically die inflating some baby pool toy but in reality the pool is too cold and it will never get used. Double sigh.
Oh, and spray suncream is so much easier than lotion to apply to a small person. Can’t believe it took me this long to realise, doh.
* you know, the kind of ‘relaxing’ you do when you’re on constant alert with a 12 month old in tow…